There's actually quite a bit of argument among all the upper echelon astrologers as to when the Age of Aquarius really begins. Some devil's advocates, pulling the existential thing on us, argue about what it even is. Jeanne Dixon, my personal favorite idiot in the whole world, opts for the date I gave above. Plato argued about it. Dane Rudhyar, geeky astrologer extraordinaire, argued about it. Jeanne Dixon, for heaven's sake. This is important stuff.

The Age of Aquarius is the root of all that New Age crap that's been popping up. Aquarius, you'll be glad to learn, was not represented in the olden days by the Water Carrier (which I guess is the astrological equivalent of a Bat Boy in baseball) as it is today. It was instead pictured as an angel, the sign of humanity and universal love. The Age of Aquarius is supposed to be colored by this association.

There are two definitions of what an astrological Age is. Nowadays, people seem to be talking about this tricky astrolonomical phenomenon (say that ten times fast) called the precession of the equinoxes. Without being boring and dull, suffice it to say that the earth wobbles a lot and the sky is always shifting around, albeit rather slowly. The point where the sun appears in the sky on the first day of spring changes from year to year, and gradually moves from sign to sign. It went into Pisces, the Fish sign, around the time Christ was born, which a lot of people think is groovy because of Christianity's preoccupation with fish.

The sign of the Age is supposed to influence the mood of the times. So in the Piscean age things were pretty backward, confused, and screwed up. Unfortunately for us, by the above definition, the Age of Aquarius, the New Age, and brotherhood, peace, and love are still a long way away-- we're talking about the 2300's here, folks. We should hope to live so long in this tunnel-visioned, polluted age of Pisces. Hang on to you crystals and Cayce books, you fools. Hang on.

But it's Plato to the rescue. He was into the cycle stuff, and like the Hindus made pronouncements such as "One day is one heartbeat of the universe. One month is one breath of the universe. One year is one commercial break of the universe." Ridiculous. But he was of the opinion that the universe was created at a point when all the planets, sun, and moon were in the sign of Cancer, and that it was all going to explode and be recreated when everything found its way into Capricorn.

Back then, they only knew of five planets because that's all you can see without a telescope, and they didn't even think of the Earth as a planet. But it's quaint. People still freak over stuff like this. I remember in 1983 when all the planets "lined up" and there were supposed to be awful earthquakes and floods and towering infernos, and the world was going to end. I was in seventh grade. I didn't do my homework that night.

But the point is that according to Plato and his contemporaries, the important thing is not the wobble of the earth, but the combined presence of all the planets in one sign that marks the "ages" of the Earth. This is how we arrive at the date of February 4, 1962. On that date, for those astrologers who didn't think all seven visible members of the solar system congregating into one sign was spectacular enough, there was even a solar eclipse.

I wish I could have been there. The sun, the moon, and all planets from Mercury to Saturn were all in the sign of Aquarius. And so the Age of Aquarius began. I guess.

Jeanne Dixon, my absolute favorite idiot in the whole world, said that the anti-Christ was born on that day, at about five in the afternoon, "somewhere in the Middle East."

I like that. Somewhere.

Sometimes, astrologers have seminars about it in fancy hotels or on cruise ships. They charge you hundreds of dollars to watch other astrologers yell and shout and throw things at each other arguing about when the Age of Aquarius began. Me, I stay out of it. I have responsibilities, I have a job, I have a real life. And I'm satisfied with 1962. Hey. It's cool. TVs in every home. The Beatles were on their way. She loves you. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! It might very well have been the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. It made a pretty cool song, even when Englebert Humperdinck did it.

So, this weekend, think about it. Peace. Love. Brotherhood. Is it possible? Is it true? Why did the Supreme Being choose to begin it all in the Sixties, for heaven's sake? Too many drugs around to digest it all. Perhaps we blew it. I can't tell you when it will all end. So pretend like it's not going to. There's certainly no harm in trying.