Q:  Are you guys for real?
A: "For Real?"  What do you mean, "for Real?"  Do you mean to ask if these web pages physically exist on a computer hard drive somewhere in the world?  Do you mean to ask if there is a physical manifestation of the holy Rebbe?  Or are you asking about a meta-reality in which the truth of the concepts expressed in Schlitzer Chassidus transcends the existence an an actual person, identifiable by means of DNA testing, by the name of Rabbi Noah A. Kohol?  What do you think the answer is?

Q: Why is this night different from all other nights?
A: So you really think this night is different?

Q:  On all other nights we simply daven ma'ariv (chant the evening prayers) in 15 minutes, go home and have dinner; on this night we read a long-winded text from the Bible that doesn't even have one word about G-d.
A:  Nu?  All year we read "G-d this" and "G-d that" in the Bible, you're complaining because one night of the year we take a break?

Q: On all other nights, we maybe or maybe not drop a few coins in the pushke (charity box).  On this night, the rabbi gets up and actually bugs us to contribute.
A: You have some kind of problem about helping the poor? 

Q: On all other nights, my friends may or may not send me gifts. On this night, all the neighbor kids come by with trays of cookies, fruit, and grape juice.
A:  What, no wine? Ddidn't you read the next question?

Q: On all other nights, we usually don't even have one drink.  On this night we drink alcoholic beverages until we can't tell the difference between "blessed by Haman" and "cursed be Mordechai."
A: "Haman?" "Mordechai?"  Who are they?

Q:  One last question.  On your letterhead, you call the Schlitzer Purim Torah Institutue, "the Yeshiva that made Milwaukee famous."  What does Schlitzer Chassidus have to do with Milwaukee, when the Rebbe is living in Baltimore?
A:  You call being in Baltimore "living?"

©2000 (5760) by L.Joseph Bachman for the worldwide Schlitzer Hassidic Movement