I recently saw an amusing little piece on the religious significance of various computer operating systems come in over the net.  I thought I'd share it, and add my own comments to relate it to Judaism...
 

The following are some excerpts from an English translation of a column by Umberto Eco (remember that wonderful recruiting film for the monastic orders called "The Name of the Rose?" Sean Connery played a monk detective.) that appeared in the Italian news weekly "Espresso"
on Sept. 30, 1994.

Eco writes:

"Insufficient consideration has been given to the new underground religious war which is modifying the modern world....The fact is that the world is divided between users of the Macintosh...and users of MS-DOS...I am firmly of the opinion that Macintosh is Catholic and DOS is Protestant.  Indeed, the Mac is counter-reformist...It is cheerful, friendly, conciliatory, it tells the faithful how they must proceed steep-by-step to reach--if not the Kingdom of Heaven--the moment in which their document is printed..The essence of revalation is dealt with via simple fomulae and sumptuous icons.  Everyone has a right to salvation.

DOS is Protestant, or even Calvinistic.  It allows free interpretation of scripture, demands difficult personal decisions, imposes subtle hermeneutics upon the user, and takes for granted the idea that not all can reach salvation.  To make the system work, you need to interpret the program yourself...

You may object that, with the passesge to Windows, the DOS universe has come to resemble more closely the...Macintosh.  It's true, Windows represents an Anglican-style schism, big ceremonies in the cathedral, but there is always the possibility of a return to DOS to change things...when it comes down to it, you can decide to allow women and gays to be ministers if you want to..."

end of quoted selection

OK, so in typical European fashion, the author forgot to consider the contribution of the Jews who have lived in Europe for millenia...but what the heck...However, don't feel bad.  Judaism is certainly represented in this underground techno-religious war....because....
 

UNIX is Judaism!

Of course, Just like DOS, Unix allows interpretation of scripture, demands difficult personal choice, etc.  The Prtotestants thought that they were going back to the Judaisc roots of Christianity..But Unix is more.  First, in order to fully understand and use Unix, you must master a strange and unintellegible language, used only by the faithful.  The full extent of revalation can be understood only by learning the commentaries ("man pages") written in such seeming gibberish that the student cannot hope to understand them without a rabbi ("system administrator").  However, once the rabbi explains them, their meaning is crystal clear, and the student finds immense spritual treasure, or at least he or she can print documents or back up files, or even log in.  When one cannot understand how to do something, one goes to his rabbi (system administrator) who gives detailed instructions of what to do. The instructions seem preposterous, but they always work very well.  However, there are numerous ways to achieve the same goal, and 3 rabbis (system adminstrators) will give you 4 opinions about how to do something....Yes, Unix is Judaism. Notice, also, how it is the least popular of the major operating systems....

Also, like Judaism, a Unix system crashes periodically (Destruction of the Temple,  Enlightenment, etc), and thus it gets programmed into newer versions, some of which don't work as well as the older versions.

Now, if Unix is Judaiam, then what corresponds to Islam?  Bhuddism? JCL? VMS?

...Ahhhh, my Unix system is crashing....Oh well, better call the rabbi, take out a sefer, and learn some Torah until it comes up again
(:-).

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