Return to main page
Tim's note:
Some poor unfortunate soul once said:
>To prove my devotion to TLM I can recite the entire TLM.
At your first AA meeting you will join a group of other Arielholics like yourself and discuss just how this addiction started and how it affected your life. We will also discuss the various treatment programs offered by AA to help you try to overcome your addiction.
Sadly, no one has ever fully recovered from Arielholism. Many people simply refused to admit they have a problem. Others admit their problem but refuse to seek help. But the dangers of Arielholism are deadly indeed.
First, the financial aspects of Arielholism are very severe. AA estimates that over $50 million is yearly being spent on Ariel-related merchandise. Since Ariel is not technically a drug, the FDA and the Surgeon General have absolutely no control over the distribution of Ariel merchandise.
Second, the psychological effects of Ariel on addicts, their families and friends can be very damaging. Ariel has been known to cause divorces, family feuds and gang wars. It is rumored that the true cause of the Haft family split was an argument over how much Ariel merchandise would be sold at Crown Books franchises around the United States. Many brides-to-be have tearful reported cases where their fiance called off planned weddings after the release of _The Little Mermaid_ in late 1989.
Arielholics Anonymous was founded in late 1992 by Steve C. Liu, our president and also our first client. His true love was Princess "Briar Rose" Aurora but the Walt Disney Company's stubborn refusal to re-release this movie led him onto the path of Arielholism. After the video release of _Beauty and the Beast_, the trailer for a later canceled _Sleeping Beauty_ re-release bought him out of the depths of Arielholism long enough for him to start Arielholics Anonymous. Sadly, Princess Aurora still refuses to let him near Sleeping Beauty Castle, where she resides, because she is still not convinced that he has recovered fully.
TAW or "Total Ariel Withdraw" is our drastic program where you arrange a indefinite period of absence from the world and enter our patented Ariel-free Bubble (TM). Here you stay and survive in an Ariel-less world for a year. At the end of the year you are re-evaluated to see if you are still Ariel-addicted. If you are - back in the bubble, if not - you rejoin society no longer being Ariel-addicted. Sadly, no Arielholic has survived this program.
RAB or "Restricted Ariel Budget" is the program where most of our clients are enrolled. RAB deals with your Arielholism in group discussions and teaches you to budget your Ariel consumption. We help limit your viewing of Ariel-related videos and your monetary expenditures on Ariel merchandise.
TSA or "Time-Sharing Ariel" is another of our popular programs. In cases like our founder's, where the addict also has feeling towards certain others but Ariel has taken over their lives. In TSA sessions we help you manage your lifestyle so that both Ariel and your "significant other(s)" get equal amounts of your attention.
"Tim" is an Arielholic hailing from Sydney, Australia. Not Melbourne, the home of wholly different Arielholic.
'I got into Ariel around age 18 when _The Little Mermaid_ was released here Down Under. I was immediately hooked on her after that first session. I took the first flight to Los Angeles to buy the video, not wanting to wait for the Australian release. During my years at the University of Sydney, I soon got put on probation because of my academic record. Ariel had taken over my life. I was watching _The Little Mermaid_ twelve, sometimes twenty times a week. When my girlfriend dumped me because she was fed up with Ariel, my friends dragged me to the local AA chapter.
'They signed me up for the RAB program. I miraclously stayed in it, and within a few months I was down to only eight viewings of _The Little Mermaid_ a week. I started to reassemble my life. I finished school, got a job and got my former girlfriend to start talking to me again. We're now engaged and plan to get married at Walt Disney World in front of the "Voyage of the Little Mermaid" queue.'
'Yes, I admit it, I named my daughter after the Little Mermaid. She was born soon after the video release. Anyway, the Little Mermaid really didn't begin affecting my life until my wife was in her third trimester with Ariel. Since we've always been a rather close couple before the baby, the loss of possible "entertainment" choices really hit me hard. Mostly we watched movies, especially _The Little Mermaid_. I started getting deeper and deeper into the red-headed mermaid and before my wife knew it, the baby's room was decorated with Ariel wallpaper, there were plush Flounders and Sebastians in the crib and all sorts of Mermaid merchandise. After Ariel's birth, most of my "fatherly" time was spent watching _The Little Mermaid_ with the baby or reading her the various Ariel books. Alarmed, my wife signed me up at AA for the TSA program.
'Arielholics Anonymous really helped. I began taking more interest in diversifying my daughter's experiences beyond the Little Mermaid. I spent less time watching the movie and more helping my wife raise our daughter. Yeah, I still spend way too time with the Little Mermaid in my wife's opinion but she's much more relieved than I remember when I first started attending the weekly sessions.'
Remember: This is your brain: O This is your brain on Ariel: (o) Any questions?
Arielholics Anonymous is not a licensed therapy group.
Return to main page