======================================================================== French chefs speak out Written by: Tim Pickett Author's Note: This was written in the height of the Aladdin Lyric Change debate of 1993. After all, if "Arabian Nights" is insulting to Arabs, surely "Les Poissons" is insulting to French chefs . . . See also "Le Censure" in the song section of the Creative Archive. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Look, if we're going to change lyrics in films then I have something I've been meaning to complain about for some time. As a representative of the American French Chef League I deplore the protrayal of French Chefs in Disney's animated films, particularly the representation of Louis in _The Little Mermaid_. French Chefs are *not* barbarians who grow thin little moustaches and spare chins. We are *not* homicidal, or even cancricidal, knife-wielding maniacs bent on turning major characters into sushi. (Pass me the hatchet, Andre.) We also do *not* have a fixation on anything to do with fish. In fact the entire "Les Poissons" scene is not only downright wrong, it is insulting to French Chefs of all nationalities. The American French Chef League demands that Disney modify the lyrics of "Les Poissons" and remove all references to fish and seafood in general from it. The lyrics can be replaced with something describing the geographical position and climate of the kitchen or something. We are not too fussed. (This nine-legged crab is from Muroroa Atoll, isn't it Andre? I *told* you to stay away from there. Now go and get decontaminated.) We await a reply.