Suggested Ariel Dolls
Written by: Dean Velasco <vbv@r2d2.eeap.cwru.edu>
A quick look at any Disney Store or Toys R Us should be
convince anyone that Ariel has gone the way of Barbie. That is,
we are being inundated with an endless variety of Ariel dolls,
in much the same way that we are being drowned with Ninja Turtles
and G.I. Joes. (Capitalism. Isn't it wonderful?)
After contemplating the philosophical ramifications of
Wedding Ariel and Tropical Ariel, I came up with the following
list of suggested Ariel dolls:
- Arctic Ariel (If Ariel wants to stay all day in the sun,
she had better remember that the days
are six months long.)
- Subterranean Ariel (Heigh ho, heigh ho...)
- Child-bearing Ariel (This one is ovoviviparous, and
incubates the eggs in her mouth.)
- Divorcee Ariel (Tim would love this one.)
- Jungle Trooper Ariel (Oops! Wrong product line.)
- Starfleet Admiral Ariel ("Make it so, Flounder.")
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Ariel ("Cowabunga!")
- Dark Knight Ariel ("Holy haddock, Sebastian!")
and of course,
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