As probably nobody is aware, I've been advocating that us Sleeping Beauty fans kidnap Mr. Eisner in an attempt to force the Walt Disney Company to re-release the movie. My organization responsible for carrying out this fiendish plot is called "Kidnap Eisner for Sleeping Beauty's Immediate Release" or KESBIR for short, which is not officially sanctioned by the Rec.arts.disney Mary "Princess Aurora/Briar Rose" Costa Fan Club of which I am number one on the list.
So here's a little dream sequence of a hypothetical outright attack by KESBIR that bears a remarkable resemblence to a certain Disney song. Of course, you will probably have to force the meter a lot to make it come out just right.
Steve: Eisner won't release Sleeping Beauty! He's postponed it indefinitely! FDS: No! Steve: We have to force the Walt Disney Company! I say we kidnap Eisner! Mob: Kidnap Eisner! MR1: He'll never re-release it MR2: He'll just keep postponing it FR: Repeatedly playing with our emotions For his sadistic benefit MR3: He wrecks havoc on my collection Sleeping Beauty is missing Steve: So it's time to take some action, boys It's time to follow me... Near L.A., in Anaheim In an office near Disneyland It'll be tough but definitely worthwhile Say a prayer, then we're there At the headquarters of Disney And the evil Michael Eisner is inside He's a beast! He's important The C.E.O. Lots of power, influence for a release Hear him laugh, see him gloat But we're gonna bring him home in a bag! Tied and gagged! Kidnap Eisner! FDS: No! I won't let you do this! Steve: If you're not with us, you're against us. Bring the old man! MDS: Get your hands off me! [They get thrown in a closet and locked in.] Steve: We can't let them warn Michael Eisner! FDS: Let us out! Steve: We'll go grab that Eisner. Who's with me? Mob: I am! I am! I am! Grab some rope, get some chains Steve: Gather your courage for the journey! Mob: We're counting on Steve to lead the way! To California, to Anaheim Where within Disney HQ Someone's lurking that we hate everyday! He's Eisner, the chief executive officer We won't rest till he lets Aurora go! Sally forth! Tallyho! Grab your club! Grab your torch! Praise Aurora and here we go! Steve: We'll storm the building and bring back his head! FDS: I have to warn Mr. Eisner. This is all my fault MDS: Now, now. We'll think of something Mob: We don't like the moratorium In fact we hate it It keeps Sleeping Beauty out of stores Bring your masks! Don't leave prints! Save the Princess Aurora and her dad We'll save Prince Phillip and his horse We'll kidnap Eisner! MF1: I did it! I was the one who recommended the postponement MF2: No, you didn't. I told Mr. Eisner himself [pause] What's going on? FF1: Is it Sparky? MF2: Sacre bleu! It's KESBIR! MF1: Protesters! FF1: And they look really mad! MF1: Warn Mr. Eisner. If they want Sleeping Beauty, they'll just have to wait ten more years. Stop them! Steve: Loot the shops if you wish, but remember, Eisner is mine! WDCS: Mouse ears on, tear gas armed We will stop these protesters Unafraid, though they look determined Mob: Raise the sign! Put on your masks! Here we come, we're fifty strong! And fifty R.A.D.ers can't be wrong! Let's kidnap Eisner! FF1: Pardon me, Mr. Eisner Eisner: Leave me in peace FF1: But, sir, KESBIR is at the door! Mob: Kidnap Eisner! Kidnap Eisner! MF2: This isn't working! FF2: But, sir! We must do something! MF2: Wait! I know! Mob: Kidnap Eisner! Kidnap Eisner! FF1: What should we do, Master? Eisner: It doesn't matter now. Just let them come Mob: Kidnap Eisner! Kidnap Eisner! Kidnap Eisner!