HOME

IMPORTANT NOTE: Materials below were provided for study and enrichment of Kol Isha participants and are offered here in the same spirit. Eventually maybe I'll add hyperlinks to individual sources. In the meantime, here's a link to the entire source list.

PLEASE BE SENSITIVE to the fact that copyright for quoted materials REMAINS WITH ORIGINAL AUTHOR.

It would have saved me a great deal of anxiety to hear -- from eminent monotheists in all three faiths -- instead of waiting for God to descend from on high, I should deliberately create a sense of him for myself. -- Karen Armstrong (A History of God, see below)

As long as a concept of God does not overpower us, as long as we can say: "So what?" -- it is not God that we talk about but something else. -- Abraham J. Heschel (Man is Not Alone, see below)

Every definition of God brings about heresy. -- A.I. Kook (see below)

"She'd never make it as a mystic -- she had too many errands."-- The Bowl Is Already Broken
[a novel], p.41. Mary Kay Zuravleff. NY: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2005.

Judaism approaches God-beyond-words through words intended as guideposts and by asking us to DO THINGS. Many of Judaism's words for God," in fact, refer to -- or are linked with -- ritual items and ways that we involve our bodies in Judaism.
The Amidah [standing prayer] alone is surrounded by many ritual customs -- standing, taking steps forward, bowing, rising up on the balls of the feet, and "bowing out" -- as well as liturgical build-up and centuries of commentary.... all designed to make an encounter with God a regular, thrice-daily, event for Jews.
Today's session focuses on the Amidah as an approach to God, both in and beyond words, including some of the more physical practices associated with morning prayer. My idea is to use a variety of Jewish practices to help "deliberately create a sense of [God]" for ourselves, as Karen Armstrong suggests.
What I'm offering today is personal, what has worked for me and for others with whom I've learned and prayed; these things might not work -- or not work today, anyway -- for you. Still, I encourage everyone to try the sequence of experiences, even if some are not your usual practice or seem strange. Sometimes an action can have greater impact on later reflection and/or repetition than the first time around.
Please hold discussion until the end. It might be helpful to record questions or comments, so they're not lost.

Program Outline
Introduction
Tallit and Tefillin
Tzitzit and Shema
Mi Chamocha? and the Amidah
Preparation/Audience with God
Discussion
Closing

Introduction

[1] When I began to research this history of the idea and experience of God... I expected to find that God had simply been a projection of human needs and desires. I thought that "he" would mirror the fears and yearnings of society at each stage of its development. My predictions were not entirely unjustified, but I have been extremely surprised by some of my findings, and I wish that I had learned all this thirty years ago, when I was starting out in the religious life. It would have saved me a great deal of anxiety to hear -- from eminent monotheists in all three faiths -- that instead of waiting for God to descend from on high, I should deliberately create a sense of him for myself. Other rabbis, priests and Sufis would have taken me to task for assuming that God was -- in any sense -- a reality "out there"... warned me not to expect to experience him as an objective fact that could be discovered by the ordinary process of rational thought... told me that in an important sense God was a product of the creative imagination, like the poetry and music that I found so inspiring. A few highly respected monotheists would have told me quietly and firmly that God did not really exist -- and yet that "he" was the most important reality in the world. -- Karen Armstrong, A History of God

[2] I declare with perfect faith
that prayer preceded God.
Prayer created God,
God created human beings,
human beings create prayers
that create the God that creates human beings.
--Yehuda Amichai, from "Gods Change, Prayers Are Here to Stay"

[3]...I am not trying to prove the existence of God--an impossible project--but rather to construct a view of God adequate to my experience. The insight of the Jewish tradition is that action is, in many ways, a better way to discover and relate to God than the usual alternatives based on observation and reasoning. -- Elliott N. Dorff, "In Search of God"

[4] A Jew is asked to take a leap of action rather than a leap of thought. He is asked to surpass his deeds, to do more than he understands in order to understand more than he does.

-- Abraham Joshua Heschel, God in Search of Man, p. 283.

[5] Even solitary prayer takes two:
one to sway back and forth
and the one who doesn't move is God.
But when my father prayed, he would stand in his place,
erect, motionless, and force God
to sway like a reed and pray to him.
--Yehuda Amichai, from "Gods Change, Prayers Are Here to Stay"

Tallit and Tefillin

[1] Whoever put on a tallis when he was young will never forget:
taking it out of soft velvet bag, opening the folded shawl,
spreading it out, kissing the length of the neckband (embroidered
or trimmed in gold). Then swinging it in a great swoop overhead
like a sky, a wedding canopy, a parachute. And then winding it
around his head as in hide-and-seek, wrapping
his whole body in it, close and slow, snuggling into it like the cocoon
of a butterfly, then opening would-be wings to fly.
And why is the tallis striped and not checkered black-and-white
like a chessboard? Because squares are finite and hopeless.
Stripes come from infinity and to infinity they go
like airport runways where angels land and take off.
Whoever has put on a tallis will never forget.
When he comes out of a swimming pool or the sea,
he wraps himself in a large towel, spreads it out again
over his head, and again snuggles into it close and slow,
still shivering a little, he laughs and blesses.
-- from "Gods Change, Prayers Are Here to Stay," by Yehuda Amichai.

[2] Were it not written in Scripture -- "I shall make My goodness pass before you, and I shall call out the Name HASHEM before you [when God teaches Moses to pray, "Adonai, Adonai, el rachum... (Ex 33:19 - 34:7)] -- it would be impossible to say it. This teaches that God wrapped Himself [in a tallis] like the one who leads the congregation in prayer, and showed Moses the order of the prayer.... A tallis around the head blocks out outside distractions and helps one concentrate on one's prayers. By appearing to Moses that way, God was teaching that when Jews concentrate on their prayers, God will reciprocate by concentrating on fulfilling their requests. Thus, God showed Moses not only the text of the prayers but the manner in which they should be recited. Alshich [16th Century Safed commentary on the Tanach by R. Moshe Alsheich] notes that the Talmud speaks of performing, not merely reciting the prayer. This teaches that the key requirement of the Attributes of Mercy is that the Jew who prays must perform acts of mercy with others; lip-service is not enough. Only then will God respond by showing the same kind of mercy to His people. -- Stone Chumash commentary

[3] The verses that are said before and after the "blessing" for the tallit provide beautiful metaphors for God's vastness and majesty, and or God's caring and loving kindness. These verses also endow our preparations for prayer with cosmic significance:
As we put on the prayer shawl, we can envision that God is clothing us in beams of light, that God is draping heavens over us.
We can imagine the tallit as a robe of majesty and glory, for when we wear the tallit, we remind ourselves that we are made in God's image, and that we share in God's majesty and glory.
When we wear the tallit, we can imagine divine wings sheltering us from harm. We remind ourselves that we are safe in God's hands.
We may use a chant or a meditation to gather ourselves together, both individually and as a group, for the beginning of the service.... As we chant Psalms 36:10 [see below], we can visualize God as a never-ending source of light and life, and imagine that light and life streaming to us.
--Siddur Eit Ratzon

Suggestion: Read this page entirely. Then, if/when ready, recite the psalms and blessing associated with putting on a tallit -- for the sake of exploration, we'll assume a virtual morning -- and put on a prayer garment. Give yourself time to think about the images below and space enough to feel under the "shelter of God's wing." Along with tefillin, a tallit suggests in concrete material a connection between God's presence and your personal space. This can also be a time to focus on breath -- an even more intimate awareness of God around and within you -- See [11] and [15] on the next pages.
When you are finished, please be seated, so we'll know when to proceed.

[4] Bless, O my soul, THE ONE!
ABUNDANT ONE, my God, how great you grow!
In majesty and beauty you are dressed, wrapping yourself in light as in a garment,
stretching out the heavens like a shawl! (psalm 104:1-2)

Blessed are You, VEILED ONE, our God, the sovereign of all worlds, who has made us holy with your mitzvot, and commanded us to wrap ourselves amid the fringed tallit.

[5] The tallit is a very personal ritual object. Usually I wrap it around myself when joining in prayer in a community. For the tallit both creates a private space for me and links me with Jewish tradition. It emphasizes my connection to my people while also offering me spiritual privacy. I am alone and in community at the same time. -- Leila Gal Berner

[6] How precious is your love, O God,
when earthborn find the shelter of your wing!
They're nourished from the riches of your house.
Give drink to them from your Edenic stream.

[7] [Note: we learned a chant for the last two lines when we were studying psalms]
For with you is the fountain of life Ki im-m-cha m'kor chayyim,
in your Light do we [see] light. b'or-cha nir-eh or (psalm 36:8-10)

[8] "for with you is the fountain of all life, in your light do we [see] all light."

The flow of light represented by the tallit is joined to the blessing of life itself. God is described here in the psalmist's most delicate and abstract phrasing. We reach forth to the source of life and are bathed in its light as it flows forth to meet us. -- Arthur Green

[9] The tallit is a "garment of brightness." It links us with the whole universe, with the whole of Nature. The blue thread within it (Numbers 15:37-41) reminds us that heaven and earth can touch, that the elements of our universe are all wondrously connected. -- Leila Gal Berner

[10] Rabbi Meir said: Whoever observes the mitzva of tzitzit is considered as if he greeted the Divine Presence, for tekhelet [blue thread] resembles the sea, and the sea resembles the sky, and the sky resembles God's holy throne." -- Sifre [midrash compilation] Shelach 15:39

One is the Breath of the Living God. This is Holy Breath.

Breathe in. Be aware that you are alive because you breathe. This one breath of Life is holy. It is holy because it is from God who is One. Every living being breathes in this same One Breath of the Living God. Ruah Hakodesh, Holy Breath. Know that you are breathing in God every time you inhale.

Two is Breath from Breath. Engrave and Carve Letters.

Breathe out. Be aware that being alive gives you incredible creative powers. We engrave and carve letters and words in the air with our voices, our speech - our breath. The letters that are formed by your breath tell your story, your unique Sippur. All the words that pour from your voice with your breath speak your truth out into the world.
We 'breathe' in One Breath as we live in God, and we breathe out a second breath, Breath from Breath, as we form letters with our breath. Ruah Hakodesh, Holy Breath, is also about knowing how amazingly creative you are every time you exhale. Your breath and the letters of speech that flow from your mouth engrave and carve the story of your soul into the elastic tablet of space-time.

[12] Tefillin -- Part 1
Tefillin are not commonly worn by Reform Jews and are not worn at all on Shabbat or holidays, so they might seem rather esoteric. But tefillin are the source of much commentary and imagery about the connection of God and human (see next pages, e.g.). And tefillin represent an important way that Judaism links text, prayer, and body. -- VS

[13] Tetragrammaton
A meditation on the four-letter name of God: Imagine your head is the "yod," your shoulders and arms form the first, arch-shaped "heh," your spine is "vav," and the arch of pelvis and legs are the second "heh." Head. Arms. Spine. Legs. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh.
Bring into your body this reminder that we are made in God's image. Breathe into your body an awareness of your god-essence. Head. Arms. Spine. Legs. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh. Yod. How will you make God's image manifest today? Head. Arms. Spine. Legs. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh. How will your thoughts and words help spell God's name? How will your arms do God's work? Where is your energy directed? Where will your feet take you? Head. Arms. Spine. Legs. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh. Thought. Expression. Self. Deed. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh.... Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh.
Wherever you go, whatever you face, Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh -- ABUNDANT ONE, my God, how great you grow! -- Head. Arms. Spine. Legs. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh.Thought. Expression. Self. Deed. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh.... Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh.
Tefillin rededicate intellect (head), heart (to which arm tefillin point), and body (arm) to God's service. Similarly, this meditation can serve as an enhancement or alternative to the formal prayers. It can also be used to energize you at odd times throughout the day and, in difficult moments, to recall your own god-essence and that of those around you.Head. Arms. Spine. Legs. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh. Thought. Expression. Self. Deed. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh.
Just as laying tefillin can tie us to generations past and "draw in the community of Israel," this meditation -- I learned a version of it on the shore of Lake Kinneret from David Shneyer of Rockville -- can link us, wherever we practice it, to Kol Isha, to the wider Jewish community, to the land of Israel, and to every place God's name is manifest. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh. Head. Arms. Spine. Legs. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh. Thought. Expression. Self. Deed. Yod. Heh. Vav. Heh. -- VS

[14] Tefillin -- Part 2
Anyone who has not had the opportunity to lay tefillin -- or even to see them -- is encouraged to explore mine. If you do try them, wrap tightly. Consider, as a friend, then a rabbinical student, once told me: Prayers should leave an impression. -- VS

[15] from "Nishmat" by Marge Piercy

...We are given the wind within us, the breath
to shape into words that steal time, that touch
like hands and pierce like bullets, that waken
truth and deceit, sorrow and pity and joy,
that waste precious air in complaints, in lies,
in floating traps for power on the dirty air.
Yet holy breath still stretched our lungs to sing.
We are given the body, that momentary kibbutz

of elements that have belonged to frog and polar
bear, corn and oak tree, volcano and glacier.
We are lent for a time these minerals in water
and a morning every day, a morning to wake up,
rejoice and praise life in our spines, our throats,
our knees, our genitals, our brains, our tongues

We are given fire to see against the dark,
to think, to read, to study how we are to live,
to bank in ourselves against defeat and despair
that cool and muddy our resolves, that make us forget
what we saw we must do. We are given passion
to rise like the sun in our minds with the new day
and burn the debris of habit and greed and fear.

We stand in the midst of the burning world
primed to burn with compassionate love and justice,
to turn inward and find holy fire at the core,
to turn outward and see the world that is all
of one flesh with us, see under the trash, through
the smog, the furry bee in the apple blossom,
the trout leaping, the candles our ancestors lit for us.

Fill us as the tide rustles into the reeds in the marsh.
Fill us as the rushing water overflows the pitcher.
Fill us as light fills a room with its dancing.
Let the little quarrels of the bones and the snarling
of the lesser appetites and the whining of the ego cease.
Let silence still us so you may show us your shining
and we can out of the stillness rise and praise.

HAND

On laying the hand-tefillin, before the knot is fastened, the following benediction is pronounced:
"Blessed are you, Lord, our God, King of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His
commandments and has commanded us to put on tefillin."
Baruch Atta Adonai, eloheinu, melech ha'olam, asher kiddeshanu be-mitzvotav v'tzivvanu
le-hanniach tefillin.
[Visit Wikipedia for a graphic, including a beating heart, to show where to place arm tefillin]
Then the arm tefillin is tightened, and wrapped around the arm seven times without interruption. Strap is wrapped around the hand but not the finger; see "final" below

HEAD

Next is the laying of the head tefillin. (Sephardim skip this blessing and the next)
"Blessed are you, Lord, our God, King of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His
commandments and has commanded us regarding the mitzvah of tefillin"
Baruch Attah Adonai, eloheinu, melech ha'olam, asher kiddeshanu be-mitzvotav
ve-tzivvanu al mitzvat tefillin.

And then the head tefillin is tightened, as the following phrase is said:
"Blessed is the Name of His glorious kingdom for ever and ever."
Baruch Shem kevod malkhuto l'olam vaed.

FINAL

Final wrapping of finger/hand: Verses from Hosea about being betrothed to God are recited by Ashkenazim. I personally substitute: "Let me be a seal upon your hand like a seal upon your heart" (Song 8:6). Sephardim and Ashkenazim create different shapes with the hand wrapping, incorporating shin, dalet, and yod.

REMOVAL/STORING

Tefillin are removed in the opposite order of their donning: unwrap the fingers first, take off the head tefillin, then unwrap the arm tefillin the rest of the way. Finally, the tallit is removed and put away.

[1] The Babylonian Talmud, on Berakhot 6a, explains that like us, God wears tefillin. Where our tefillin hold the words Shema Yisrael - "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One" - God's tefillin are home to a different verse, Umik'amkha Yisrael - "Who is like your people Israel, a singular nation in the land." Our deepest yearning and God's deepest yearning meet in the same place. (myjewishlearning.com)

[2] Black absorbs all other colors within light rays, while white reflects all other colors. We must wear Tefillin that are completely black because we must absorb all of God's wisdom and direction. God "wears" Tefillin that are white because He reflects all wisdom and guidance. (aish.com)

[3] Rabbi Shimon Hasida explained that God showed Moses the knot of His tefillin [an intimate detail]. The tefillin, containing verses about God's unity and nature, signify true comprehension of God's reality. This abstract truth, however, is beyond human understanding. How can we relate to this truth? What connects it to us? ...This is the knot, tying the tefillin down. This knot represents the level of understanding limited to the abilities of the one contemplating. (based on writings of Rav Kook)

[4] It is written (Song 2:6), "Let His left hand be under my head, and His right hand embrace me." God thus embraces man who wears tefillin. -- Shir HaShirim Rabbah 2:17; Aryeh Kaplan, Tefillin

When a man places tefillin on his arm, he should stretch out his hand as if to draw in the community of Israel and embrace it with his right arm. Thus, it is written (Song 2:6), "Let His left hand be under my head, and His right arm embrace me." -- Zohar 3:55a; Aryeh Kaplan, Tefillin

[5] God and man are worlds apart -- "as the heavens are higher than the earth" On a purely spiritual plane it would be totally impossible for the two ever to be brought together. All the meditating and philosophizing in the world cannot bridge the gap. In is only here in the physical world that God and man can come together. In some ways, both can bind themselves to the same physical object or action. In this way, they are almost physically pushed together...
The physical Tefillin we wear are a counterpart of the Tefillin on high. In each detail, they parallel God's spiritual Tefillin. And because they resemble these Tefillin, they are spiritually very close to them.
...God's Tefillin are on the very Crown of creation. They exist at the very highest transcendental level. When a man wears Tefillin, he therefore binds himself to the very highest spiritual level. He achieves a closeness to God that even the deepest meditation could not accomplish.
--Aryeh Kaplan, Tefillin

Tzitzit and the Shema

[1] In the initial part of the service [morning blessings and psukei d'zimra, verses of song], our task was to recognize and acknowledge all of our blessings, to move to a position of gratitude. In a sense we were preparing ourselves for the audience with God that takes place in the Amidah. Our next task is to understand who it is that we will be encountering; we need to position God, as it were, for that audience. How do we envision God? One image on which we have focused is God as Source of all blessings. [In the blessings before and after the Shema], the Siddur focuses on three major images -- God as creator, God as Loving Presence, and God as Redeemer. Initially we focus on the transcendent God who is responsible for all creation [Yotzer Or], then on the God who loves each and every person (and, in particular, the Jewish people) [Ahavah Rabah -- v'ha-eir einenu], and finally, after the Sh'ma [the blessing that culminates with Mi Chamochah], on the God who makes a difference in our lives, who enables us to improve the quality of our lives. [emphasis added]

Having recognized the many images of God, we now turn to the stage of "recognizing that all of the many images of God are One, and recognizing the personal God in the transcendent God."

The Sh'ma is a spiritual affirmation. As noted in the meditation [see below], all of the images we have of God are one, and God is available to us in all the ways we can imagine.
--Siddur Eit Ratzon

[2] Jews have traditionally gathered in the four tzitziyot at the corners of their tallitot when they reach vehavi'enu/reunite. The tzitziyot are then held through the Shema.
In gathering together the four corners of the tallit, we gather our scattered thoughts and focus on unity -- uniting our people, uniting the disparate elements of our lives, uniting with the oneness that links all that is. This inner unity is the place out which our hearts speak the Shema.
-- David A. Teutsch (Kol Haneshamah)

[3]

v'a-ha-vi-ei-nu l'sha-lom mei-ar-ba kan-fot ha-a-retz
You will bring us from the four courners of the earth,
v'to-li-chei-nu ko-m'mi-yut l'ar-tzei-nu
gathering us in peace and dignity in our land
ki Eil po-eil y'shu-ot At-tah
For You work salvation in amazing ways.

[4] The Sh'ma is a spiritual affirmation...
All the images we have of God are one, and God is available to us in all the ways we can imagine.
We affirm that all of these images of God are one.
That Your oneness embraces
all of our envisionings and
all of our understandings
We affirm that You are available to us in all these ways
That we can call on You using each of these images
that we can experience
Your tenderness and your majesty
Your grandeur and Your love --Siddur Eit Ratzon

[5] Blessed are You, Adonai, You lovingly choose Your people israel....

Shema Yisrael, Adonai elocheinu Adonai echad
Hear, O Israel, Adonai is our God, Adonai alone


[6] The tzitzit, like all the forms of religion, are there as reminders for us as we go about our daily lives. All of us have had moments when we most became ourselves, liberated from the bonds holding us back, or when we discovered those great inner truths that lend meaning to our lives. But such moments are forgotten, covered over by the petty angers and frustrations of daily living, by the hard shell we think we need about us to protect our most precious feelings.
Our tradition calls upon us to bring such moments back to mind and make them part of our worship. Our own innermost liberation is our "coming out of Egypt"; our own moment of deepest truth is our "standing before Sinai." Let us remember these as we look at our tzitzit, and join them to the ancient memories of our people. -- Arthur Green (Kol Haneshamah)

The four tzitziyot represent the four corners of the world. The divine presence spans the entire area from one corner of the world to the other. So too are the inescapable moral obligations which extend throughout our lives no matter where we are. -- David A. Teutsch (Kol Haneshamah)

Mi Chamochah? -- Amidah

[1] After declaring that God is One, encompassing all of our images, our next step [the long Redemption blessing that concludes with Mi Chamochah] is to recognize that the God who freed Israel from the bondage of Egypt is also the God who can free us from our bondage -- that if we simply recognize that there is a power greater than ourselves that is always available to us, we will be able to tap into that source of power and use it to improve our lives. -- Siddur Eit Ratzon

Busted flat in Rephidim [1]
Grumbling once again
Feeling near as faded as the sand
Finally made some water flow down from Mount Horeb [2]
Hoping that will lead you back to me

Told Moses how to get safe drinks out of that bitter Marah water [3]
I was raining quail then sending manna too [4]
cloud by day and fire by night
we made an impressive sight
Marching and learning the Sabbath rules [5]

From that first stop in ha-Hiroth [6]
to the splitting of the Sea [7]
I tried to share the secrets of my soul
Through all the plagues in Egypt, through everything we've done
Making myself known was the only goal

One day, then, near the Elim springs, I almost slipped away [8]
you were dreaming of flesh pots and yearning for home
But we can't trade our tomorrows for any yesterday
together today with a desert to roam

[YAH's chorus:]
Freedom's just another word for being bamidbar but midbar, midbar [9] , People, yields the Law
Feeling good will be enough
in the world to come
Feeling good is not enough right now
not enough right now for my People and me

la da da da da da, my People & me

Hey, I call 'em "goy kadosh" [10]
Call 'em my "am" [11]
Call 'em "goy kadosh"
Do the best I can--C'mon...
my People , my People & me
la da da da da da, my People and me [12][People's chorus:]
Freedom's just another word for being bamidbar
but bamidbar is a scary place to be
Feeling good, it's true, we want;
why must we sing the blues
but feeling good is not enough for You
not enough for Torah, for us, or You

la da da for Torah, for us, and You

Hey, call out eloheinu, [13]
call out Shaddai, [14]
Call out eloheinu,
we really try -- C'mon...
Your Torah, Your Torah & You
la da da da da da, Torah and You

Notes:

[1] Exodus 17:1. "Busted flat": the people have been taken out of slavery in Egpyt, witnessed miracles performed for them, but have complained non-stop for the entire portion of Beshallach, Exodus 13:17 - 17:16:
· "There weren't enough graves in Egypt?" (Exod 14:11);
· the water is bitter (Exod 15:23)
· we'd rather have died at the fleshpots of Egypt (Exod 16:3);
· "Give us water to drink!" (Exod 17:2)
They also defied the rules about gathering manna (Exod 16:20 and 16:27) and "quarreled with Moses." (Exod 17:2). Finally, perhaps because, as some commentators suggest, they have been so contentious, "Amalek came and fought with Israel at Rephidim." (Exod 17:8). -- Clearly, God has cause to sing the blues!

[2] Exodus 17:6. A midrash says God wanted the people to seek the source of the water, Sinai.

[3] Exodus 15:23-26 [4] Exodus, chapter 16 [5] Exodus 16:21-30 [6] Exodus 14:2 [7] Exodus 14:15-31 [8] Exodus 15:27

[9] Bamidbar means "in the desert" and is the name of the fourth book of the Bible

[10] goy kadosh "holy nation"(cf 19:6)

[11] am means "people" (Cf. Exodus 17:3 -- "But the people [am] thirsted for water."

[12] YAH (which is pronounced, is the first half of God's 4-letter name, unpronounced name, YHVH). YAH and the people each have their own chorus, as their experiences badmidbar are different but related. I envision YAH and the people singing at the same time, so to fulfill Exodus 6:7 -- "And I will take you to be My people [am], and I will be your God [elohim]."

[13] eloheinu -- "our God" -- cf. " none like our God," Exod 8:6

[14] Shaddai -- or El Shaddai, a name of God related to hills and breasts (and so to nurturing, etc.) is used often in Genesis, e.g., Gen 35:11, but not in the Book of Exodus, where God gives Moses "the name" (YHVH, the four-letter unpronounced name of God) at the burning bush, Exod 3:13-15.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[3] I, Miriam, stand at the sea
and turn
to face the desert
stretching endless and
still.
My eyes are dazzled
The sky brilliant blue
Sunburt sands
unyielding white.
My hands turn to dove wings.
My arms reach for the sky
and I want to sing
the song rising inside me.
My mouth open
I stop.
Where are the words?
Where the melody?
In a moment of panic
My eyes go blind.
Can I take a step
Without knowing a
Destination?
Will I falter
Will I fall
Will the ground sink away
from under me?

The song still unformed--
How can I sing?

To take the first step--
To sing a new song--
Is to close one's eyes
and dive
into unknown waters.For a moment knowing nothing
risking all--
But then to discover

The waters are friendly
The ground is firm.
And the song--
the song rises again.
Out of my mouth
come words lifting the wind.
And I hear
for the first
the song
that has been in my heart
silent
unknown
even to me.

"I Shall Sing to the Lord a New Song"
--Ruth H. Sohn (printed in Kol Haneshamah)


[4] Rabbinic dogmas are concerned with events which, in a literal sense, are beyond the range of an individual's experience, but which become, especially during the recitation of the pertinent berakah, something akin to experience. In the berakah after the Shema', the redemption from Egypt is felt to be an event that has taken place in the individual's own day, and not only as an event in the remote past.... Events [such as the Exodus] that are matters of dogma, of belief, lose their dogmatic character and become matters of personal experience...when the individual associates himself with Israel.
-- Max Kadushin.Worship and Ethics


[5] 'Ezrat Avoteinu (Help of Our Ancestors), uses the first lines of several paragraphs [with repetitions for melody] from the long "Redemption" blessing that follows the Shema. Composer Norma Brooks says: "...the text concretizes what the Shema affirms: that God's help to the Jewish people continues throughout the generations, that the potential for redemption, felt upon our deliverance from Egypt, continues eternally, and that we continualy offer songs of praise and gratitude to God." (liner notes for Your Bountiful Light CD)

Words and music appear on the next pages. We'll listen to the CD and then try the song ourselves.

[6] Kadushin notes that only the first of the Amidah's series of blessings -- "Avot" [the ancestors] -- has both an opening and closing, as is usual. The remainder have only a closing, using the blessing preceding it as an opening, in "a series of successive experiences.... a meditative, nonphenomenal experience of worship..." The first blessing "represents an experience of God's love that imparts an impetus to a further act of worship, and the latter, in turn, imparts an impetus to still another act of worship, and so on."
Moreover, Kadushin says, the first blessing is not occasioned by an action -- eating bread, seeing a rainbow, washing hands -- as is usual for a blessing. Instead, the sun's position -- i.e., the time of day -- is enough to prompt the recitation of the Amidah. The first blessing of the Amidah is "an expression of bittachon, of reliance on God" (NOT to be confused with "trust" or "faith in God," entirely different concepts -- bittachon, as I understand it, is more along the lines of acknowledging that WE did not move the sun); once made explicit, noticing our reliance on God becomes a meditative experience; the experience we thus created for ourselves through this meditation becomes the occasion of further blessing, creating a cascade effect.
Meanwhile, the Avot blessing has made us aware of God's love and of being part of larger groups -- Israel and humanity. This awareness has what Kadushin calls "moral consequences" for us.
The Amidah is a primary example of the "normal mysticism" Kadushin sees at the heart of rabbinic Judaism: "Awareness of God, though a mystical experience because actual awareness of His nearness is not communicable, is at the same time a normal experience because awareness of His love and His justice is communicable."-- VS, based on Max Kadushin.Worship and Ethics

[1] from "Amidah: On Our Feet We Speak to You"

by Marge Piercy, in The Art of Blessing the Day. NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 1999.

We rise to speak
a web of bodies aligned like notes of music.

1. Bless what brought us through
the sea and the fire; we are caught
in history like whales in polar ice.
Yet you have taught us to push against the walls,

to reach out and pull each other along,
to strive to find the way through
if there is no way through
if there is no way around, to go on.
To utter ourselves with every breath

against the constriction of fear,
to know ourselves as the body born from Abraham
and Sarah, born out of rock and desert.
We reach back through two hundred arches of hips

long dust, carrying their memories inside us
to live again in our life, Isaac Rebecca,
Rachel, Jacob, Leah. We say words shaped
by ancient use like steps worn into rock....

3... Let us lift each other on our shoulders and carry each other along.
Let holiness move in us.
Let us pay attention to its small voice.
Let us see the light in others and honor that light.
Remember the dead who paid our way here dearly, dearly
and remember the unborn for whom we build our houses.

Praise the light that shines before us, through us, after us,
Amein

[2] The question has been asked: Why is it necessary to specify the three names [God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob] after having said "[God of] our fathers"? That repetition, the answer goes, serves to indicate that neither Isaac nor Jacob relied entirely upon their fathers, but sought to find God themselves. This is why we speak of the God of Abraham, of Isaac, of Jacob. Rabbi Meir Eisenstadt, Panim Me'iroth, no. 39, Amsterdam 1715. [note to Heschel's Man Is Not Alone, p.164]

[3] Where the Amidah calls on the God of Abraham, God of Isaac, etc., Cantor Sue Roemer suggests inserting the names of our more immediate ancestors: "God of um-um, God of um-um,..."

[4] The art of awareness of God, the art of sensing His presence in our daily lives cannot be learned off-hand. God's grace resounds in our lives like a staccato. Only by retaining the seemingly disconnected notes comes the ability to grasp the theme. (p.88)
-- Abraham Joshua Heschel, Man Is Not Alone


[5] Pre-Amidah Meditation: Meeting the God of Genesis
The Amidah is our chance to stand before God. The language and choreography are meant to reflect an appearance before a mighty sovereign --we begin by stepping forward and bowing and end by bowing out. Before beginning this time, though, consider for a moment all the characters in Genesis with whom God speaks -- either directly or through an angel or dream: Adam, Eve, Cain, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Avimelech, Hagar, Lot and his family, Isaac, Rebecca, Jacob, Joseph, pharaoh, even the serpent. God speaks to them all. In various places, at different times, under all sorts of circumstances. God issues commands, warnings, reprimands, messages of support, blessings and curses. God also negotiates and asks questions. Genesis offers many models of standing before God. So, instead of walking forward to bow before God the Sovereign, we might consider, instead -- or in addition -- stepping out to greet the God who strolled in Eden in the cool of the evening or of being seen by the God Hagar named "God of My Seeing, Who Sees Me."-- VS
A version of this meditation was written for the Institute for Contemporary Midrash1999 Summer Intensive Workshop

[6] Conjure for a moment the image of each ancestor -- Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Leah, Rachel -- as you pray the opening brachah of the Amidah: How do you envision Abraham -- wandering zealot? most in the moment with God? Isaac -- bound? eyes dimmed with seeing? Jacob -- patriach of a large unruly family? struggling to earn the name Israel? Sarah -- laughing? scheming? keening? Rebecca -- sister? wife? mother to warring nations? Leah, negotiating for love, and Rachel nearly dying of emptiness, together mothering a tribe? or Rachel, beautiful, and Leah, weak-eyed? Channel, for a moment, their voices -- how might they have addressed God?
You might also voice our slave mothers, Bilhah and Zilpah, and/or our aunt Hagar. -- VS

The say we're supposed to be in a palace.
So we bow and take certain steps
as the prescribed supplication
drops from our lips.
But what do we really know
of castles and kings?
My kitchen faucet constantly leaks
and the kids' faces
usually need cleaning.
If a door opened to a real palace,
I'd probably forget and carry in
a load of groceries.
No, the door we stand in front of
when the Amidah begins is silence.
And when we open it
and step through,
we arrive in our hearts
Mine's not a fancy place,
no jewels, no throne,
certainly not fit for a king.
But in that small chamber,
for just a few moments on Sabbath,
God and I can roll up our sleeves,
put some schnapps out on the table,
sit down together, and finally talk.
That's palace enough for me.


[8] But this invitation to seek and decipher, to Midrash, already constitutes the reader's participation in the Revelation, in Scripture.....This is not to say that truth is acquired anonymously in History, and that it finds `supporters' in in! On the contrary, it is to suggest that the totality of the true is constituted from the contribution of multiple people: the uniqueness of each act of listening carrying the secret of the text; the voice of the Revelation, as inflected, precisely, by each person's ear, would be necessary to the `Whole' of the truth.
-- Emanuel Levinas, "Revelation in the Jewish Tradition"



[9] As a feminist, the possibility of divine oneness is alien to me. Rather, I look for God in the multiplicity of being, in the celebration of differences and distinctions, and in the quest not to hierarchialize those differences.
-- Rebecca T. Alpert, "Another Perspective"

[10] As a feminist Jew, then, I seek a return to the fundamental insight of religion-- the perception of unity in the world. Unity of all elements of creation, unity of creation with creative source and power. This perception can be restored only through radical, re-imaging that brings us back to the root of the monotheistic idea.
...And so the biblical word ayin, "well" or "fountain," with the figurative meaning of "source," an image rooted in the earth, rises to my consciousness. And I make the image eyn ha-khayyim, "wellspring or source of life," to point toward Divinity here.
-- Marcia Falk, "Toward a Feminist Jewish Reconstruction of Monotheism"

[11] We remain a part of the divine source that spoke us into being or gave us birth.
In this theological context, to ask the question "Why did God create the world?" is to ask too fully within the framework of the myth. In Yiddish, this is called a kashe oif a mayse, "an objection to a story." Stories should be allowed to stand on their own merit as stories, free from intellectualized objections. The question assumes not only the temporal precedence of God to world but also a will of God in an overly anthropomorphic sense. The question should better be put, in our context: "Why is reality the way it is? Why does human consciousness experience itself as separate, but bear within it intimations of greater oneness? If all is one, on some deeper or truer level of existence, why do we experience life as so fragmented? Why are there many faces, rather than just the one?
--Arthur Green, Seek My Face, Speak My Name

[12] To his people, God the Lord is simultaneously the God of retribution and the God of love. In the same breath, they call on him as "our God" and as "King of the universe," or -- to indicate the same contrast in a more intimate sphere -- as "our Father" and "our King." He wants to be served with "trembling" [Psalms 2:11] and yet rejoices when his children overcome their fear at his wondrous signs. Whenever the Scriptures mention his majesty the next verses are sure to speak of his meekness [Megillah 31a]. He demands the visible signs of offering and prayer brought to his name, and of "the affliction of our soul" in his sight. And almost in the same breath he scorns both and wants to be honored only with the secret fervor of the heart, in the love of one's neighbor, and in anonymous works of justice which no one may recognize as having been done for the sake of his name.
--Franz Rosenzweig, from The Star of Redemption

[13] All the divine names, whether in Hebrew or in any other language give us only a tiny and dull spark of the hidden light to which the soul aspires when it utters the word "God." Every definition of God brings about heresy, every definition is spiritual idolatry; even attributing to Him intellect and will, even the term divine, the term God, suffers from the limitations of definition. Except for the keen awareness that all these are but sparkling flashes of what cannot be defined -- these, too, would engender heresy.
-- "The Pangs of Cleansing" by Abraham Isaac Kook

[14] To rely on our faith would be idol-worship. We have only the right to rely on God. Faith is not an insurance, but a constant effort, constant listening to an eternal voice. (p.174)
-- Abraham Joshua Heschel, Man Is Not Alone



[15] In medieval Jewish literature, the consonants of the Hebrew alphabet are compared to a body and the vowels to a soul. Yet, a Torah scroll is written only with consonants. Indeed, a vocalized Torah scroll is unfit for ritual use. The Torah requires a person to supply the vowels, the vocalization, the soul, in order for it to become animate, alive, heard. Without the person, the sacred text remains mute. Without the theologian to animate it, to provide it with a voice, tradition might otherwise remain inert....
According to some Jewish mystics, though the Torah that God gives is the same Torah for all, each individual may understand it in his or her own particular way, according to the manner peculiar to his or her individual "soul-root." From this perspective, the process of re-discovery and re-creation of the initial revelation rooted at Sinai is profoundly personal and individual endeavor.
-- Byron Sherwin, "An Incessantly Gushing Fountain"

[16] "Brother God"
by Abraham Joshua Heschel

God is fettered in jail,
in the labyrinths of infinity.
You escape and go through all the streets.
But Your divinity masks you, God

You are not only Lord and Almighty, no!
You can also be poor and sorrowful.
Sometimes You behave like a child
as if I were the bigger boy.

Our brother God!
from the last, endless height
bend down to us, tenderly
and kiss every creature;
kiss us soft and clear.

[17] God says to me with kind of a smile,
"Hey, how would you like to be God awhile
and steer the world?"
"Okay," says I, "I'll give it a try.
Where do I set?
How much do I get?
What time is lunch?
When can I quit?
"Gimme back that wheel," says God.
"I don't think you're quite ready yet."
--"God's Wheel," by Shel Silverstein. In Kol Haneshamah


[18] It would have saved me a great deal of anxiety to hear -- from eminent monotheists in all three faiths -- instead of waiting for God to descend from on high, I should deliberately create a sense of him for myself. -- Karen Armstrong, A History of God.



The Audience

[1] When the Sages set the order of the daily prayers, they decided that there should be no interruption between the theme of "ga'al yisrael -- redeemer of Israel" and the Amidah, for it is important to enter one's audience with God with the understanding that God does make a difference. Accordingly, we proceed directly to the Amidah without interruption -- not even to say Amein -- so that when we begin the Amidah, we do so with the mindset that God can make a difference in our lives; we do so with the phrase "redeemer of Israel" on our lips and in our hearts. -- Siddur Eit Ratzon

In a few moments, we'll begin our individual and collective audiences with God. Here's the plan:
[2] We'll sing Mi Chamochah together.
[3] Out of the quiet that follows, Meryl will lead us in the prayer "Adonai Sfatai Tiftach"
[4] Rise when you're ready.
Today's Amidah will use the words of the siddur -- sections of the weekday Amidah follow --
or the words of your heart.
[5] A common tradition is to walk forward three steps and bow to begin.
When you have completed your audience, you bow again and walk backwards three steps.
[6] The ancient rabbis taught that prayer should be loud enough for YOU to hear but not loud enough to disturb your neighbor. In many traditional congregations, the individual Amidah is anything but "silent," as each individual murmurs her or his own prayer, at times punctuating a point.
It might surprise you just how useful it can be to your own prayers to give that bit of extra attention, trying to minimize distractions, as others around you murmur or hum. And your own murmuring or humming contributes to the room's buzz, making everyone aware of just how much is going on in this Audience.
[7] When you are finished wih your audience, please be seated, in silence.
[8] We'll close with Oseh Shalom

A-do-nai s'fa-tai tif-tach God, help me open my lips
u-fi yag-gid t'hil-la-te-cha let my mouth declare Your praise.

Oseh sha-lom bim-ro-mav May the one who makes peace in the heavens
hu ya-a-seh sha-lom a-lei-nu make peace for us
v'al kol Yis-ra-eil and for all Israel
v'al kol yosh-vei tei-veil and for all who dwell on earth
v'imru : amein And say: Amen.

Praised are You, God, Our God, God of our fathers and mothers. God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob. God of Sarah. God of Rebecca. God of Leah and Rachel....God of......

Great, mighty, awesome, supreme.

God of ages past and future, God of this day, as You were with our mothers and fathers, be with us as well. As you were their Guide, be ours as well. Then our tradition shall endure, and Israel live: from mother and father to daughter and son, and to all who follow.
Our Sovereign, Our Help, Our Redeemer and our Shield.
We Praise You, Eternal One, Shield of Abraham and Protector of Sarah.

Eternal is your might. Who is like You, Author of life and death!

You are holy and your name is holy.

We give thanks for the divine flame that glows within, the gift of reason that enables us to search after knowledge.

May our pride of intellect never be an idol turning us away from feeling wonder and awe. And may we remain aware that all our learning is but a handful of bright pebbles picked from the wide shore of the unknown.

May the beauty and mystery of the world move us to reverence and humility. Let the tree of knowledge bear good fruit for us and our children.

And the let the consciousness of Your presence be the glory of our lives, making joyous our days and years.

May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable to You, O God, my Rock and my Redeemer.

May the One who causes peace to reign in the high heavesn cause peace to reign among us, all Israel, and all the world.


--adapted from On the Doorposts of Your House. Chaim Stern, ed.
NY: CCAR, 1994.




Sources

Siddur Eit Ratzon, (www.newsiddur.org) Independently published, 2003.
editor/commentator: Joseph G. Rosenstein , math professor at Rutgers University

Kol Haneshamah, Reconstructionist Press, 1994
commentators quoted here
Berner, Leila Gal. Contemporary, now local, rabbi; founder of Lev Tahor center in Maryland
Green, Arthur. Professor at Brandeis, author. See also below
Teutsch, David A. Chair, dir, Center for Jewish Ethics at Recon. Rabbinical College

Alpert, Rebecca T. "Another Perspective on Theological Directions for the Jewish Future," IN CJT*
Alpert (contemporary) is assoc. prof. of religion and women's studies at Temple Univ.

Amichai, Yehuda. "Gods Change, Prayers Are Here to Stay," by Yehuda Amichai,
in Open Closed Open, translated by Chana Bloch and Chana Kronfeld. NY: Harcourt, 2000

Armstrong, Karen. A History of God: the 4000-Year Quest of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, NY: Alfred A. Knopf, 1994.
Armstrong (contemporary): "passionate monotheist"; former Roman Catholic nun; honorary member, Assoc. of Muslim Social Sciences; prof, Leo Baeck College for the Study of Judaism and the Training of Rabbis and Teachers

Dorff, Elliott N. "In Search of God" IN Contemporary Jewish Theology (CJT)*
________ & Louis E. Newman, eds. Contemporary Jewish Theology, A Reader, NY: Oxford University Press, 1999.
Dorff (b. 1943), "Conservative rabbi, a prof. of Jewish theology at the Univ. of Judaism
in California (where he is also Rector), author, and a bio-ethicist." (source: Wikipedia)

Falk, Marcia. "Toward a Feminist Jewish Reconstruction of Monotheism" [from Tikkun, July/August 1989] IN CJT*
Falk (contemporary) is author of The Book of Blessings, a genderless prayerbook

Friedman, David. Visual artist whose works center on kabbalistic themes. kosmic-kabbalah.com

Green, Arthur. Seek My Face, Speak My Name quoted IN CJT*
Green (contemporary) is professor at Brandeis, author

Heschel, Abraham Joshua. Man Is Not Alone: A Philosophy of Religion, NY: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1951
God in Search of Man. NY: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, , 1955.
The Ineffable Name of God: Man. Written when Heschel was 26, these
poems were translated from the Yiddish by Morton M. Leifman in 2004. NY: Continuum, 2005.
Heschel (1907-1972): descendant of Hasidic dynasties in Eastern Europe; PhD in philosophy, Univ. of Berlin; professor at Jewish Theological Seminary; civil rights leader

Kadushin, Max. Worship and Ethics: A Study in Rabbinic Judaism. NY: Bloch, 1963,
Kadushin (1895-1980): professor at Jewish Theological Seminary. Used western
philosophical ideas to discuss Judaism and show that halachah yielded religious experience.

-------------------------------------

*CJT -- Contemporary Jewish Theology, A Reader. See Dorff, Elliott N.

Kaplan, Aryeh. Tefillin. NY: Union of Orthodox Congregations, 1993.
Kaplan (1934-1983): Bronx-born physicist, author, and mystic

Kook, Abraham Isaac. "The Pangs of Cleansing" [from Abraham Isaac Kook edited by Ben Zion Bokser] IN CJT*
Kook (1865-1935), born in Latvia was the first Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of modern Palestine
(1921-1935); mystic and early religious Zionist, known as "HaRav"

Levinas, Emanuel. "Revelation in the Jewish Tradition" [Beyond the Verse: Talmudic Readings and Lectures, Gary D. Mole, trans.] IN CJT*
Levinas (1906-1996): philosophy professor at the Sorbonne and director of Ecole Normale
Israelite Orientale

Lieberman, Syd: contemporary author and storyteller, reaching children and adults.

Piercy, Marge: contemporary poet/author whose work often includes Jewish themes
poetry includes: The Art of Blessing the Day. Fiction includes: He, She, It and Gone to Soldiers

Rosenzweig, Franz. The Star of Redemption, quotedin Franz Rosenzweig: His Life and Thought, Nahum N. Glatzer, ed. NY: Schocken, 1953.
Rosenzweig (1886-1929): German philosopher who oollaborated and corresponded with
Martin Buber and founded the Lerhaus, a house of learning for those rediscovering Judaism.

Sherwin, Byron. "An Incessantly Gushing Fountain: The Nature of Jewish Theology" IN CJT*
Sherwin is professor and director of doctoral studies at the Spertus Institute of Jewish
Studies in Chicago

Silverstein, Shel: contemporary author; works include Where the Sidewalk Ends, The Giving Tree.

Sohn, Ruth: contemporary rabbi who recently wrote "The Arabic Lesson" for URJ's magazine.

Tasat, Ramon and Norma Brooks. Your Bountiful Light (CD and songbook)
contemporary compositions from siddur and machzor sung by chorus including local singers

-------------------------------------

*CJT -- Contemporary Jewish Theology, A Reader. See Dorff, Elliott N.

Edelson, Israel. Yearnings from Beyond: A Transcendental Piano Recital.
niggunim interpreted for piano

Kaplan, Richard and Michael Ziegler. Tuning the Soul: Worlds of Jewish Sacred Music
traditional melodies from around the world, many from the siddur

Shalshelet: First International Festival of New Jewish Liturgical Music